2009. december 2., szerda

It is the end




To me certainly. I am only answering here to the accusations thrown onto me.

What are the accusations?

That I am only criticizing, only as one admin put it 'throw shit' on erep and admins.

Well, it is a fact that erep is not perfect and there are plenty of criticizable things in it. I am intelligent and can extrapolate as well as see the possible problems, so I am good at constructive criticism. I have done it often on erep too, because admins have always said that they care about users' opinions. Being a moderator also gave opportunities for it, because the erep laws are even worse than the game itself - full of incomprehensible restrictions, badly worded rules and freely interpretable sentences. As an experienced moderator, whom the others also considered to be a fair and good one too, I tried to make these rules better. I tried to convince admins to change them, and if necessary delete those that are simply bad rules. I cannot accept or uphold a law which I cannot see the reason for. So, yes, I did criticize admins and rules and the game too, because admins asked for it, asked people and me in particular to tell that criticism. I was naive, yes... I believed that they really want to hear it. But as the end shows, they kicked me out of moderation because of criticism, because of criticizing that rule which wanted to persecute ingame szeklers as terrorists - and which rule was later revoked as baseless. So my criticism was correct, but still - I got punished for it.

As for only criticizing and doing nothing constructive... I first started to do their work by making a baby-boom twice, not only bringing thousands of people to erep, but also teaching others from many countries, how to do the same. I wrote almost all recruiting articles that appeared in the RL Hungarian media, even when I was not the actual instigator of the publishing of it.

I was the first they asked to help by translating erep to Hungarian, which I, Kola1979 and Szombati mise started about half a year ago... I was the leader of the translation team, and we translated erep to Hungarian completely months ago - only they choose not to implement it. Lately the translation was taken up by Feherlofia Koppany, and I am told that it is ready again with the added modules too - only they still not implementing it.

I was one of the first to be invited to the Home-Based Moderator team, and I was a moderator for almost half a year - without doubt doing the second most work in the team, as the softwer recorded, and as the other mods also acknowledged many times. Belea also thanked me for not only doing so much work but taking the time for helping the new mods and helping out with the rules-interpretation too. Well, this work was all good and praised until that one instance when I went against their ruling and - I admit that with strong words for I was angry - criticize it. Without any discussion, without any consideration, without taking into account the work that I had done - I was informed that my access to the mod-tools were restricted - with other words I was kicked out of moderation.

That my attitude towards the Game Moderators project in general and other moderators in particular has become uncostructive.

My attitude towards the Game Moderator project is ambivalens now, as it was back then. I think that it is good idea to have players as lower level mods, who can lessen the workload of admins. But the actual form that it took was and is not good. They invited about 60 moderators to the project, from which about a dozen worked at all, and 5-6 did 80 % of the work. I know, I was one of those stupid ones who actually worked a helluva lot. For free. In my free time. And it was quite a shitty feeling to see others like Big Brother, who absolutely never did any work, and he was proud of it too, and showed (and said too) his disdain towards us who did the work, he looked down to us and said his contempt quite clearly, considering himself above this shitty work... I considered his attitude such as not deserving to be a moderator at all, and it is the greatest of injustices that now he harasses me, threatens me and laughs at me from the position of a moderator - and I might add bans me for his revenge.

I also consdered the attitude of admins as quite poor - when I tried to argue with them about the szekler rule, which was the main pint in this affair, I only got the answer that it was a closed decision, and not a matter up for discussion. Now, as a moderator and as a Hungarian, I simply could not accept that. Letting admins persecute a group of people for no reason? Yes, I was angry. Yes, I called the admin and the rule racist - for it was racist by the very definition that is in the erep laws:

Racism “ The term "racial discrimination" shall mean any distinction, exclusion, restriction or preference based on race, colour, descent, or national or ethnic origin which has the purpose or effect of nullifying or impairing the recognition, enjoyment or exercise, on an equal footing, of human rights and fundamental freedoms in the political, economic, social, cultural or any other field of public life. ”
http://wiki.erepublik.com/index.php/Rules_Addendum

So, this was my sin... that in my anger I called a racist ruling racist. I paid for it... what ranks me is that nobody else paid for much greater sins, only me...

My attitude towards other moderators... yes, I have described what I think that Big Brother should not be a moderator. Not only he never worked and disdained those who did - but he protected cheaters like Benn Dover from being banned on the grounds of 'such an old player', he threatened people on the chats with ingame persecution, he harassed and trolled me ingame (I reported it but only got the answer that it was nothing illegal), he threatened me with banning and provoked me countless times... even half of it should have been enough to kick him out of moderation - and I am a human only, after a time I could not stop myself from answering... and he used the first opportunity to ban me for good.

Other moderators... I did have heated arguments with C....., because I felt him being against me, even though he never did anything openly.... I argued with others too, but those were about specific points, not personal matters. I am a hard and demanding person when it comes for quality of work - I cannot accept anything just thrown together, just done carelessly - I ask from others what I ask from myself: the best or nothing. So, I might have been too harsh on mistakes... maybe that is what karma tries to teach me with this... that my mistakes - if any - are judged even more harshly...

As for what those mistakes were... I have sent long e-mails with explanations of my point of view to admins - none were answered. Appeals were denied so that I had 4,5 FP-s and Big Brother could ban me whenever he wanted to, for whatever reason - or lack of it. Which he did today. This no answer part is also something that is not my attitude but admins' - that they think that I deserve no answer, no justice, no anything, no nothing. I really tried, but with no answer whatsoever it is impossible to make any kind of a conversation.

During these about two weeks, I was often angry, angry for being unjustly punished, being unfairly banned, loosing my friends and everything, feeling that admins distinctly turned against eHungary as well... yes, I was angry, dissappointed, sad (I did cry a fair bit a number of times...), and I did tell strong words too occassionally. Some I still feel warranted, some I have apologised since - even though probably my e-mails go to dev/null so my apologies went there too. But overall, if I consider everything that they did and what I did - I consider my conscience clear, my balance of things fair, and erep admins' acts way over what was just and fair.

So, I leave erep as a condemned and banned criminal, my name slandered, my work denied, my goodwill rejected - but in fact I leave with my head held high, and my conscience clear.

I do not even wish anything bad to erep, to its admins and moderators. With their attitude as they have displayed it so their karma will take care of them, their fate.

Those who I consider friends and intelligent people are already moving over to eJahan - I do not hold a lot of hope for that game, but at the beginning it should be fun - later we will see what karma brings.

Good bye eRepublik

In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends

(when I finish the 7th part of my series, I will publish it on this blog)

elérhetőségeim:
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twitter: Quicksilvernora
YM: noranadasdy

9 megjegyzés:

  1. It was the great story of the lone solider...
    :(

    VálaszTörlés
  2. nemár szivi :D nem tudok angolul és nem tudom mi bajod de gyere vissza :)

    VálaszTörlés
  3. All hail QucikSilver.

    I got banned for 54 times too.

    Balash

    VálaszTörlés
  4. One of the main reasons I didn't stay mod was because I didn't trust the capability of them to stay neutral, as they have proven not to be.

    Still, I have to stay you haven't made it easy for yourself neither. You wouldn't have got banned if you hadn't lost temper. Not meaning they're right, but that you gave them excuses enough...

    Sad to see you leave that way (as so many others). Good luck with whatever you do. ^_^

    Meiko

    VálaszTörlés
  5. One day, I found myself writing pages of emotional and pretentious prose about the mods in an internet game. At that time, that exact opint in my life, I realized that I was a loser. I spent the rest of that day molesting my cat and watching Disney movies over and over again.

    VálaszTörlés
  6. Emerick, it is the last such and I owed myself an anwswer to them... an answer that I could not give on erep, because of cenzorship.

    VálaszTörlés
  7. Meiko, true, I was often angry and falling for provocations... as you say it makes them no right.

    VálaszTörlés
  8. If you need other games to play, then I'll recommend Ikariam.

    http://ikariam.hu/

    or the international version:

    http://www.ikariam.org/

    I play on Iota and My server, but I'm currently on vacation mode. Taking a break.

    VálaszTörlés